THIS IS A JOURNAL OF MY LIFE JOURNEY. WITH WORDS JUXTAPOSE TO IMAGES, SO YOU CAN IMAGINE MY LIFE INSIDE OF YOUR HEART & SOUL UNTIL YOU ARE IN SYNC WITH THE SOLES OF MY SHOES...
10 months later and she finally did it, I am so proud of Naomi. It feels good to be able to function, as a supportive black man in my family's life. Not to the extent that I would love to be, but be there and be capable to do what I can when I am around. My niece Akira, had to be pulled outof my sista's womb, wasn't no pushin' her big self thru my sista's thighs... had to perform a c-section and pull Akira out. I watched the video, it was crazy, looked like they pulled a midget from my sista's belly....LOL. I love my sista and her baby.....Life can be so good at times!!!
They sprayed gang graffiti all over that old black man's Mercedes Benz. It's "Kah-razy", as the Godfather of soul would say. Now why would you want to go messing with a old man's car for? I really have come to a place where I stopped trying to understand the mentality of some of todays youth. I mean really, if you just sit and listen to the conversations that they have, it can get so vulgar that it really seems to me that they need some of that good old fashion learnin'! Memba' when gran'ma said she was gon' learn you...and sho' nuff she did.
Not to say that the children of tomorrow are stupid, because I know for a fact that they are far from that. They are just ignorant and inconsiderate. I was on the back of the bus one day when a group of teens just let a four or five letter word fall from the bottom of their lip like rain from a lovesick sky. A black woman, whom was a tenant at the previous apartment complex which I worked had to actually say, "Hay could you please watch yo' mouth I have my 4 year old daughter here."
They tried to maintain themselves, for a little while but couldn't. What surprised me was that the female of the crowd was the one who began cursing again with no regard to the child right behind her. What's up with that? Did she lose her intuitive motherly instinct to be thoughtful, courteous and caring to the cold world of being badd-ass and bling bling?
I really don't know sometime. I do know that my co workers Dave and Reggie are two wild and crazy guys. Just the other day Dave, (the white guy) just began throwing up uncontrollably during work. He said it wasn't the booze it was the sushi he ate. But I looked at his vomit and there wasn't anything there, but his vile liquid. If you ask me it was Smirnoff, not the sushi. My boy Reggie, aka the Icon Chief of the State, he insists that he is the hottest rapper to touch the mic. I told him his rapps aint too hot, but I offered him a hit for him to use, right on the spot today. I said "Bump- bundah". Then he laughed at me. I said, "Bump-bundah...Take ya shirt off." I said, "There ya go, a hit for the summa-tyme." Take ya shirt off!!!
People I make hits, but keep that on the downlow, like R.Kelly. Well, one good thing that did happen today for me is I got another credit card. Cha-ching. Lately I have been doing a lot of shopping. At the clearance rack, but shopping non-the-less. Peace Wordsongs
Seeing Erykah Badu naked would have been the only way I could have made my evening with her that much more pleasurable. She is definately a class act. The night started with The Roots coming out on time...and although I am not one of their biggest fans, I have a lot more admiration for them after seeing them perform live. They say that they are one of the most hardest working bands to date, playing like 271 days out of the year. From observing them, they have their craft down to a science. Qwestlove played his drums ferociously as Black Thought ran down his lyrics like a seasoned veteran. Professionally stepping to the side from time to time to allow his other bandmates the opportunity to "get their shine on", and shine they did. My favorite Roots song is "You got me", which features Erykah Badu. I was quite surprised when she didn't join them to perform it, instead they had their guitarist(seen in hyperlink) sing the hook while playing in a Hindrix style fashion. The Roots did a excellent job with filling in the gaps by playing various hits by other artists, I thought that to be ingenious way to open up...and give me monies worth. As they left the stage, Black Thought announced, "The show is only getting started!" Well, he was almost right, because Erykah was atleast 45-60 minutes late, the only downside to the evening. Then finally the curtains opened. The stage was poorly lit, allowing members of her band to make their entrances. The crowd went wild when a woman appeared from out the shadows, but then another entered, followed by another and then the last. These were her back up singers, they were decked out in some classic 70's attire. Tight short dresses, head bands pulling back their afro's in puffs, knee high boots and bodies that jus' refused to quit. From the jump I knew this was going to be a helluva show. After about 5 minutes of anticipation and the back ups singers moaning to the first track on her new album, that soul systa finally appeared sporting a red plaid suit and and a afro that was bigger than the continent of Africa and 1/3 of the Middle East. The crowd went BANANAS! Miss Badu sang the first few tracks off her latest LP "New Amerykah" and boogied down with her back up singers at the same time, with her funky self. She nor the back up singers missed a step. With the economy being very hard up right now I can see why some people chose not to purchase tickets, but at this point I was satisfied with my choice of forking over the $100.00 to see my baby in action and would do it again at the drop of a dime. Because I absolutely love her work, I was unable to hear all of my favorites, but I heard a majority of them. Since she started late, I was running out of time to see the whole show and still make it back home on public transportation. I had a nice fill, but I was and I am quite sure a the rest of the audience was waiting to hear "Bag Lady". I left my seat to inquire about the last BART train home. I was informed that it closed at 12 p.m. o'clock. It was 11:15 and still no Bag Lady. I decided I would give her till 11:30 then I would have to split. Finally my song came on, a proper end to a wonderful night of well dressed women and mind-blowing music. The only other slight annoyance of the evening was the fact that although the Paramount had seats, people couldn't help but stand and dance to the music. My favorite episode of this was during intermission when the d.j. played E.U.'s "Doin the Butt", need I say more?
Sometimes, I struggle with being a artist. When it comes to art, one must be able to discern when to give of themselves, honestly and wholeheartedly, as well as know when not to do either. For me its like letting the monsta inside of me loose upon the world. Speaking my truth, whether Tom, Dick or Sherry likes it, cause it's my truth. I spoke once before about my affinity for the good brotha Tupac Shakur, because he was a strong black man, who at one moment could have an uncontrollable passion for his fellow brethren and with a swift shake of a machete he could sing a of song of sin, croonin' his thug passion to the females inquiring, "How do you want it...? So for me, this has always been my dilemma, do I give it to 'em raw or should I put some cut on it. I step back and say to myself, I want to give my reader some emotion, I want my reader to feel me where I am comin' from, if they not feelin' nothing good nor bad...I am not doing my job to bring the conviction which I am striving as a artist/poet for. In this process I must remain true to myself, first. Then I think about my audience...and I ask in a soft suddle voice, "How do you want it...?"
I guess they thought I was servin' spam instead of spaghetti!!! I told 'em, it may have taken me a extra 5 months to get the job done, but I did it. So yes, you can say that Lannie Ross, 1 year later from being released from San Quentin State Prison, after doing 8 years, stepped out from that cage, enrolled in a computer tech school and got certified. Something can't nobody take away from you is a education...so they say. Hang that on yo' wall, you haters!
Now I went in to take my test, with a friend of mine who had started the class in S. F. with me. He was there early and started his exam. I came in about 10 minutes after. I left about 15 minutes before he finished. Nothing unusual, throughout our course I have always finished before him, sometimes placing higher, sometimes placing lower. Today I smashed and got a 880 and walked out, way before he finished. (Thats 880 out of a 900, the questions were weighted so you figure I missed 1-2 questions.) Well 15 minutes later his results came, he got a 885. I wasn't mad...I was happy. I wanted to get a higher score but I really wasn't tripping, the thing of it is although he passed, got certified and all that, his demeanor seemed to be on a haterist mode. Why, because I came with a fat ass diamond in my ear and I was dressed up...but I usually am if I am not at work. It's funny how some cats can pump each other up and others can just do the opposite. Yeah I looked good, but he scored higher, has all the opportunity to get a good job, find a good woman and have some kids someday, just like me, but no....he wants to focus on the here and now. I guess it's like my big brah Carl always tells me, sometimes I am just too real, and you know what they did to Malcolm and Martin....for being too real!
So I am going to continue to work at becoming humble. If not, my "Friends" are gonna KILL me.
I visited a friend this weekend and ended up helping her and her family paint their kitchen. I like visiting and find it a good escape from my normal life out in the city. Due to the fact that most of their fathers' are basically absent, I look forward in spending quality time with them. Not as a father figure, but more as a positive male role model. It is a shame how hard it is on single women now a days. Can't get a man to help change a light bulb let alone...buy a carton of milk. The whole family structure has deteriorated so low that it is much needed breath of fresh air when a man steps in, even if it is for only a weekend. I am not sure on how the impact of my actions truly effect her or her family, but all I can try to do is my best, to be a stand up brotha...can you dig it?
